Henry in the Middle
by CallMeAddicted
Summary: Viva La Swan Queen Week: Summer 2015! Too many people sharing a bed is not cool. Emma's had enough of it. I promise you'll have fun. So just read it ;)


Happy Swan Queen Week, All!

Inspiration for most of my fics came from my great friend, Arabella Cauwell (who won't let me use her real name, so I used her FF name - she writes Recess fan fic if anyone's looking for a good trip down childhood lane). So thanks, Ara :)

I'm aiming for cracky with most of these SQW fics, so expect that. Although I'm thinking a bit more angst for one or two... We'll see.

Anyway, enjoy the week. Happy and safe Swan Queening!

* * *

Day 1: Bed Sharing

* * *

As Emma laid in the darkness, she glared at the fifteen year old boy cuddled up to his brunette mom and wondered, _'How the hell did he ever graduate therapy?'_

She'd tried prying his large, muppet-like hands off the other woman. And all that had gotten her was a swift kick to the stomach and a slap to the arm as Regina mumbled, _'Just let him sleep.'_ Then she'd tried to unobtrusively insert herself between the mother and son, as if that would go unnoticed. It had gone unnoticed, for all of about two seconds before the sleeping teenager literally tossed her aside to resume cuddling his mommy like she was his favorite blankie.

So there she laid on the edge of the king sized bed (which given the additional human in it, felt more like a college twin), contemplating her life.

"Regina," she whispered. With only a slight stirring from the sleeping woman, she tried again, a bit louder this time. " _Regina!_ "

"What?!"

"Why is he still here?"

"Emma, I'm not getting very much sleep tonight as it is and you are disturbing the little bit of rest I'm managing."

"Well it wouldn't be an issue if our man-child of a son could manage his nightmares like an adult!"

"He's not an adult, he's a child…"

"He's a big ass fifteen year old! And seriously, I thought I was gonna get some tonight!" she whined.

"Do you have any cheese to go with that whine? Considering you've had your own fair share of nightmares and I've always been there to comfort you, you could have a bit more consideration for your son."

"Yeah, but I'm your wife; that's your job. Our almost grown son needs to learn to stay out of our bed! Especially on sex nights!"

"Well do you think we should post a schedule on the door?" she snarked.

"You know what?" Emma grumbled and kicked the blankets from her legs. It's not like she had that much blanket coverage anyway – the boy was taking up all the covers. "I'm going to sleep in his room. This is getting ridiculous!"

"Emma," Regina tried to soothe, but to no avail. The blonde stormed out of the room anyway.

With the freed up space in the bed, she used all her strength to push her son over to the other side of the bed. Emma was right: this was definitely getting to be ridiculous. I mean on the one hand, how could she turn her own son away after he'd come to her for comfort? But on the other hand, he was too damn old for this shit! Seriously, they would need to have a talk in the morning…

* * *

The blonde attempted to sleep in Henry's bed. It was spacious enough for one, but just so. They hadn't really gotten around to altering his mattress size as things had been quite busy lately. So he was still rocking a twin size. But the size of the bed wasn't necessarily the problem. The problem was that it smelled like teenage boy.

So after tossing and turning a few times, a decision had been reached: "I'm going to sleep downstairs…" Emma muttered to herself.

* * *

 _creak…slow creak…creak creak creak…tap tap…_

 _'Fuck, it's creepy down here,'_ Emma thought to herself as she laid on the sofa staring out into the dark. The sofa was comfortable enough – it was the one thing in the house Regina had let her pick out. But there was a reason she'd never fallen asleep and stayed on the damn thing at night: the house was a creep fest. It was so huge that every tiny, little noise echoed through the space and made Emma feel like she was being watched by some… _creepy_ (for lack of a better word) person living in their walls.

"Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer," Emma began singing to herself, "had a very shiny nose." (Listen, it was the first song that popped into her head, okay…) "And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows… like a light-bulb!"

And so it went until she finally allowed the sandman to do his thing.

* * *

In the morning, Emma and Regina were already sat at the kitchen counter when Henry strolled in, clearly well rested. Regina followed Emma's resentful glare as her eyes tracked Henry's every move.

"We have emergency band practice today after school because of the concert next week. So I'll catch the late bus."

"Alright," Regina rested her coffee mug on the counter. "When you get home we're having a family meeting, so come straight back."

"Okay. See you later moms!" The kid grabbed his backpack and jacket and ran out of the house.

"Are you really that angry at him, Emma?" Regina asked.

"No… I'm not _angry_ , it's just… what is the reason he's doing all this?"

"Well Archie seems to feel that because Henry missed out on a lot of our time together when he was going through the whole 'Evil Queen Hating' phase, he's trying to make up for that time by reverting back to his younger ways."

"It's not like he was gone; what did he miss out on?"

Regina now was the one with the death glare, "He may not have been gone from _you,_ but he was gone from me. He missed out on a lot of the mother-child moments that he should have been experiencing."

"So you think I somehow deprived him of affection when he was with me?" she defends.

"No. But it's no secret that you're not always the most affectionate person. Aside from me, you seem to have trouble showing vulnerability."

Emma snorted as she took a sip of her coffee.

"I'm not trying to place blame; I'm just pointing out to you that when Henry was in your care, he was already a ten year old, and maybe you didn't feel the need to give him as much attention or coddle him as much. But I think he still wanted that. At that point, he was refusing to allow me anywhere near him, but at the same time, I think he wanted a parent who would sit with him and rub his tummy as he fell asleep, or who would let him sleep in the bed when he had nightmares…"

Not quite willing to accept Regina's explanation so easily, Emma simply nodded her head and played with the food on her plate.

The brunette saw the conflict in Emma's eyes and casually walked over to her wife, placing herself between Emma's legs. "And sometimes I see the same behavior from you…"

That's when Emma looked up at her, ready to protest, but her protest died down when Regina stroked her cheek with the back of her hand.

"That's something you didn't have growing up either. Which is why I think you're such a cuddler," she chuckled. Emma squeezed her closer. "And I know that I'm the catalyst for the decreased amount of motherly affection in both your lives, so can you blame me for doing all that I can to make up for it?"

"No," the blonde pouted. "But Henry needs to get his own wife because I need you to be available… especially on sex nights…"

"Okay," Regina laughed. "We'll speak with him tonight about boundaries and we'll also speak, just you and me, about how to help our son through this difficult time in his life without depriving him of much needed affection."

"I'm agreeable to that."

"You better be," the brunette kissed Emma sweetly. When Emma slapped her on the booty, she shrieked and the kiss turned hella more heated.

* * *

That night, Emma breathed deeply, appreciating the scent of Regina's freshly washed nightshirt mixed with the sex in the air. She was about to close her eyes and settle into sleep when she heard the bedroom door across the hall open and the sound of big teenage feet padding across the floor.

"Mom?"

"Oh, hell no…" Emma said a bit more loudly than she wanted to.

"I had that nightmare again where I ate the peanut butter sandwich and my throat closed up…"

"Henry," Regina muttered from her state of half-sleep. "We spoke about this earlier. You're a grown boy and when you have bad dreams, you have to find a way to self-comfort. It is not appropriate for you to come into your parents' bedroom and sleep with them at this age."

The boy nodded as if he understood, but stood in the doorway anyway as if waiting for instruction on what to do next.

"You know what?" Emma jumped up on the bed and walked across Regina's body. She leapt off the bed and made her way over to Henry. She got that signature constipated look on her face and squeezed her body tightly as if she was about to pop out an egg; then with a wave of her savior hand, a small tri-colored puppy appeared in Henry's arms. "Here you go! Go cuddle with that…"

"You got me a puppy!" he exclaimed excitedly as he brought the fuzzy animal to his cheek.

"Yeah, just go back to your room. And take that thing out in the morning so it doesn't pee on your pillow."

Henry ran out of their bedroom excitedly and back into his own. They could hear him talking animatedly to the dog and talking back to himself in what was presumably a "puppy voice."

"Do you have any idea how long it will take that animal to become housebroken? In the meantime, it will be excreting all my floors!" Regina admonished.

"So we'll use magic to housebreak him…" Emma re-positioned herself behind Regina and placed her leg over the smaller woman, trapping her in an Emma-cocoon. "But now we're both satisfied: Henry has a new cuddle buddy and I have my Regina-bear back." She smiled brightly as she rested her head on their shared pillow.

Regina shifted closer to her Emma, leaving not one bit of empty space between them. "Well, we may be sharing our bed again soon… I think I'm pregnant…" she left it at that and drifted off to sleep.

Emma, on the other hand, was now wide awake. "Jingle bells, batman smells. Robin laid an egg…"


End file.
